The atmosphere was thick with peace. The moment I stepped into the hotel my lungs filled with relaxing air that left me at ease. I was consumed with the contentment of God’s presence as I rounded the corner and saw the She Speaks decorations. It was Thursday, only half the attendees had arrived and the hallway was sprinkled with beautiful, glittering sisters in Christ. All of us excited to share our stories of faith and transformation. To express the calling on our hearts with someone else who just might understand how terrifying and exciting it was. I drove 5 ½ hours south to Concord, NC, by myself, to step into world of selflessness and service, love and sacrifice. A world that put a heavenly price upon the hours of typing away at a computer, instead of the worldly price that leaves my bank account wanting. I unknowingly walked into a sisterhood whose words of encouragement are exactly how the bible describes them, “sweet like honey.” It’s been almost a week since I was overwhelmed with information about the true meaning of ministry, platforms, self-publishing and lessons on how to chase your dream while chasing your kids. It’s been a week since I sat before a publisher and literary agent and found not only affirmation that I was using my gift, but enthusiasm and encouragement about my first written work: Temple Detox.
I sit here tonight, still in awe over the lovely faces and touching stories at She Speaks 2015. I am still in awe that in a room of 800 women with similar talents and desires, my God would see me and be willing to USE me for HIS glory. It was only 11 months ago that I was a broken mess, crying on my kitchen floor, unsure if I could fulfill the roles placed upon my shoulders: mother, wife, daughter, and friend. The burdens were heavy and I had no strength. I was physically sick, mentally frail, and spiritually dead inside. I needed Jesus to step in. I needed a miracle. And I got one.
Elven months later, I can see that the hand of God has been covering me: cleansing and refining me, healing and strengthening me. His personhood is tangible in my life now. I know Him in an intimate way I never could have imagined possible. The words of scripture have branded my very soul and pour into every aspect of my life now. I cannot separate myself from the incredible, vast and omnipresent God that I love. Tonight, I realize that the calling He has placed on my life may not look the way it has in my dreams, and that I just might have to wait a few years (or more) until I can step into full-time ministry, yet gratitude seeps into my heart.
I’m thankful I have more time to grow and learn. I am thankful that I was led to such an amazing experience. I am thankful that God can, and is willing to, use me for something eternally rewarding. I’m grateful that I get to learn how to love others more fully and watch my new sisters follow God on their journeys into ministry. Because people are what it’s all about: loving them, encouraging them to find their greater purpose and exposing them to transformative love of Jesus through service, sacrifice and speaking truth boldly and passionately. I’m grateful I finally understand what ministry means and I can say with confidence, my eyes are on God, it’s for HIM, not me. My prayer tonight is that I become less and less, and that HE grows more and more within me. I pray that as I wait for the moment He calls me to the stage, I will remain content in His presence the way I was last week at She Speaks. Thank you Proverbs 31, for creating an environment that educated, prepared and exposed so many women to the reality of women’s ministry and left us encouraged and determined to pick up our crosses and follow Jesus.
Want to know more about how She Speaks has changed my life?