I'm sitting in the family room watching Preschool Prep Sight Words 1. My daughter is beginning the process of learning to read. What? Where did my baby go? I ordered a book yesterday about Potty Training because she is showing signs that she is ready. What? Where did my baby go? Yesterday, she sat at her amazing little table. She just sat there coloring and playing pretend with wooden food from her little kitchen. What? Where did my baby go? She is going up and down the stairs on her own, opening doors, and having legit conversations with us. WHAT?! Where did my baby go? Who is this little child telling me what she wants with sign language and words? Who is this little girl saying "Pretty" to all my jewelry and wanting to accessorize her precious body? Who is this little lady that is so excited to be combing her own hair and brushing her own teeth? Taking showers by herself (with parental supervisions of course) standing under the stream of water giggling and relaxing? I am amazed that at a year and a half years old I am getting glimpses of the person to come. Who will she be? What can I do to encourage her in her interests? This morning, I was singing random notes (don't ask, it's what I do!) and she started singing with me. It was AWESOME! Will she be musical? How will that musical gift be expressed? Through dance, vocal modulations or instrumental talents? I am so excited to find out. But I have one request for my darling first born: don't rush it. Please don't rush growing up. As tired as I am with two babies under two, I am enjoying every moment of this precious time and it is flying by far to quickly. Here are two of my favorite moments with Becca:
One wintery afternoon Becca walked over to her kitchen and began to open and close the little doors, bang her pots and pans, and throw her dishes and food around. It was hilarious. I looked at my Mr. in disbelief and said "What is she doing?" He simply replied without hesitation "As far as she knows, she is doing what mommy does!" We got a pretty good laugh out of that. I do tend to slam doors and bang things around in the kitchen.
It was early one morning and some of Mr.'s Bible Study friends came over for breakfast. Becca was very excited and began to play in her kitchen. A few minutes later, she began serving the men fake food at the table. SO CUTE. They are wonderful daddies themselves, so they sweetly took the food and played along. My girl is a very natural nurturer.
It is truly as if my baby grew up the moment we brought her baby sister home. She comforts Diana when she cries, brings Diana her pacifier if it drops, brings me blankets to put on Diana so she won't be cold. In the morning, her first order of business is to go kiss her baby sister and make sure she is ok. This sweetness warms my heart as I see a compassionate, thoughtful, sensitive spirit within her. I have three prayers that I daily send up to God:
Lord, let me be wise and patient. Help me be the mother my girls need me to be. Not the mother I think I need to be, or that the world says I should be. But the mother you designed me to be specifically for these daughters of mine. That I would see each of my girls potential and talents, and raise them according to the bent in which you created them as you require of me in Proverbs 22:6.
Lord, I claim the promises of Psalm 91. I declare your covering over my family, and especially both my daughters. May every day they live, every breath they take be one step closer to finding your son Jesus and asking Him to be their Lord and Savior.
Father, I ask that you save my daughters hearts. Keep them pure and honest. Prepare them for the men that you have destined for them. I lift up their future husbands and pray that they would have a heart for you Lord, and that their parents would as well. I pray that our families would be joined in peace and love when the time is right, and that their future marriages would be filled with love and respect. I pray their husbands will love them with the steadfast, gentle passion and care that their father has loved me. And that I may model for them how to be a loving, gentle, respectful and wise woman and wife.
The great responsibility placed upon the shoulders of all mothers can be overwhelming. I admit I have days in which I feel as if I will just fall to the ground in tears underneath this pressure. But daily I am not only finding just enough grace, just enough energy, time or patience to make it to bedtime, but the ability to rejoice and enjoy all the special moments that get us to that precious time of sleep. I love my job. It is a calling that is challenging and a great honor. God has bestowed two great gifts upon me and I have determined to hand them back to Him. They are His children whom He loves and adores more than I can fathom. I know that if I just ask Him, He will grant me all that I need (and more!) to lead them to the foot of the cross and into their Father's arms.