Temple Detox

Temple Detox
Courtesy of #dgdesignsphotography

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Two kisses from Heaven

As I washing dishes tonight, the song  "It is well" by Bethel Music came on, catching me off guard and I began to cry. This was my song as I was going through the miscarriage last month. Life is beautiful, I have no complaints. But it would be a lie, and dishonoring to my baby, to say I'm not still grieving. That I don't  have moments when the heartache and grief and feelings of loss and sadness flood in. Because I do. But after these moments, I feel peace settle in. It washes over me, seeping into the cracks of my broken but healing heart, and then once more I can sing "it is well" with honesty and zeal.

So tonight as I laid in bed, recovered from the sadness, I was reading old emails. And I found one that left me thinking "He never fails to show up and say 'hey, look at me'!" In the best of ways and the most perfect moments. Because  when we look at Him, we are stilled, in awe of His beauty and completely  fulfilled.  So, I'd come across an old email I'd written while hugely pregnant with my first baby! Now at that time I was going through five weeks of prodromal labor (if you don't know what it is, lucky you!).  Frustrated and uncomfortable, I was reaching my limit of patience and understanding...and then God kissed me from  Heaven and changed my outlook. Tonight,  He used this story, one I'd written almost three years ago and had forgotten about, and kissed me for a second time....

Had a rough morning, after very little sleep and contractions having started and stopped AGAIN.

I fought with Justin cause I was being a brat. Things just weren't going well and I wasn't feeling very good. So I laid down to pray, confessed my sins, and asked that God would help me not freak out about Rebecca being born before/during the typhoon, lose heart after four weeks of this and that He would take away my fear.

I prayed that he would let me read His word this morning through the lense of the Holy Spirit. So, as I open my bible, a little yellow card falls out, titled Second Chance Card. It read:

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:8-9

I cried and thanked Him. But realized the card had held a page open. Then I looked to the page it was on and started reading. No joke, this is what it said:

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die..."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

My jaw dropped! I laughed so hard as joy bubbled inside of me. God knew what I needed three months ago when I randomly placed that little yellow card in my bible. It's been waiting there for this moment!

I just laid there in awe. Those two scriptures were all I needed this morning in my moment of doubt, frustration, fear and weakness. Those two lines in Ecclesiastes were enough to comfort my heart because HE is more than enough, always. They just confirmed to me that:
God exists
He hears me
He answers me
He loves me
He is with me
His plan for Rebecca and me is perfect, because His timing is perfect!

I hope this little story of His sense of humor makes you smile. Because all those above statements are just as true for you today!!! 

God used the very same scripture to kiss me during anxiety over the birth of my first child and now the passing of my third child. Two kisses, one verse. A reminder that He is sovereign, but also that He is present, active and helping me each step I take. Amen!    

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